-Here's my fav last line of one of my stories:
If there is an afterlife, I’m hoping Striker gets to sort things out with his old man.
-Here's my hot-off-the-presses first line to a new story:
Mel figured he could get by as a lefty if they broke his right arm or maybe took a couple fingers, but the thumb, Christ, a monkey with two good hands would be considered twice as civilized as him.
Mel figured he could get by as a lefty if they broke his right arm or maybe took a couple fingers, but the thumb, Christ, a monkey with two good hands would be considered twice as civilized as him.
Huge post holiday thanks go to Erin Cole and Jodi Macarthur for posting / promoting all the great reads from a bunch of writers, who most of us all know. In case you missed it, look HERE
Absolutely*Kate, who is giving Crista Faust a run for her money as my secret noir crime writing skirt crush, is being kind enough to help out other writers with her Bread Crumbs feature over at her site HERE
Your last line is almost a cliffhanger. Your new line: Wow- I'm intrigued. thank you fairy much for participating in my blogfest via Clarissa! Happy writing!
ReplyDeleteAwesome lines...like Summer says,the first is almost da, da, ddaaaaa! The second is compellingly gruesome!
ReplyDeleteSummer- Thanks for the read / comment, and especially for hosting this way cool opportunity.
ReplyDeleteMargo- Very nice of you to stop in give it a read. Gruesome is good, for me at least ;)
Hi,
ReplyDelete1)Nice rounding up line, and without knowing the content of the story it kind of reveals the key componant to the ending!
2)Good opener, few clues, but intriguing all the same. :o
best
F
Francine- Mighty glad you gave it a read. Thanks so much!
ReplyDelete"Overly salty language", it must be good.
ReplyDeleteThose are some excellent lines. I especially liked the first (the ending one) - it says so much in few words.
Thanks for the prop too!
Erin- My pleasure. Was wondering where you been. Hope you had a great X-mas/New Year and can't wait to read something new from you.
ReplyDeleteThose are impressive! Especially enjoyed the bit about the monkey being twice as civilized as the man without the thumb.
ReplyDeleteCrime thrillers aren't my genre (I get woozy watching NCIS, I'm a whimp) but your turn of phrase is grand!
The first sentence left me with an aching lump in my throat. I hope Striker gets to work it out too!
Thanks for stopping by my entry for the fest!
~bru
February- Very nice name, by the way. Thanks for the feedback. While fairies and Romance are not really my gig, meeting new people, who happen to be talented writers as well is always a good thing. Clarissa D's blog is one I follow, so I thank her for putting me in the know. Best of luck with all your projects in 2011!
ReplyDeleteYes, it's Summer's blogfest but your sentences are cool. I wish I could post your cool hitman story. I really liked it. It sounds like your next novel is along the same lines.
ReplyDeleteCD
Clarissa- No worries. The hit man story is actually the opening chapter from the novel I'm working on. Thanks again for all the cool info and blogs I find from your blog!
ReplyDeleteOoo...I love your last line and I'm interested to learn what has happened before. The new line is intriguing and does what every first line should do - it's chucked us right in with action. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteEllie- Thanks so much. If you're interested, you can read the complete story the last line from on the left side of my blog. It's called "Crankshot". I must warn you that it is rated R, for violence and profanity reasons, just so you know.
ReplyDeleteYou end your first story so succinctly. I can feel the thread tying in a knot and I'm going away hoping too.
ReplyDeleteYour opener is jam packed with flavour and voice - it is one of my favourite openings I've read today. You made it worth my while staying up and finishing the round-up. :)
Elaine- Very kind of you to to visit and provide such nice feedback. This has realy been a lot of fun, and great way to meet new writers. I still have more to check out, but am getting there.
ReplyDeleteYour ending leaves a lot to the imagination. Just mentioning afterlife suggests a new beginning. Well done.
ReplyDeleteYour opening line is quite graphic yet it keeps you wondering how this person got into this situation.
All the best with your writing.
Michael
Great last and first lines, Sean - exactly as I would expect! :) Looking forward to reading more of your stuff in 2011. Loved the links, too - thanks!
ReplyDeleteMichael- Thanks man. Conjuring up images and making the reader curious is what it is all about. Appreciate both the visit and read.
ReplyDeleteJulie- Great to hear from you. Kind of a let down now the DSD challenge is over. I hope you have an awesome 2011 with your writing and every aspect of your life. Can't wait to read some more of your stories.
Gotta love that second sentence. Really good voice.
ReplyDeleteElena- Thanks for the visit. Your blog is very impressive. Lots of cool stuff going on over there!
ReplyDeleteI love that beginning, it's got such an interesting voice, and I immediately wonder why he's worried about somebody taking his thumb.
ReplyDeleteI joined this blogfest late, but I'd love to hear what you think of my sentences!
Chris- Thanks for the feedback and I will most certainly return the favor.
ReplyDeleteBoth well constructed senteces and both equally intriguing.
ReplyDeleteWendy- Much obliged for the visit, read, and comments.
ReplyDelete