Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year (A little satire, perhaps?)

Just a little fun on the last day of the year, nothing personal.

Attention all smokers! There's a new pariah in town, “the fatter”. Yes, you heard (err, read) me right. The fatter has firmly grasped the baton and is positioned to take the lead in the societal vilification race. The looks of disgust and faux coughing, typically reserved for the lowly nicotine addict, are a thing of the past. The Fatter is stealing your glory with every super sized, gluttonous mouthful. It won't be long before public places begin segregating normal people from the "portion challenged”.

Easy there smoker, don't get your nebulizer in a snit. You have paid your dues. You win. Gone are the days of being nailed to the cross for second-hand-smoke and passing on bad habits to the younger generation. The triglyceride tribe has done its best to infect an entire generation of happy (meal) youth with overzealous palate syndrome.

The corporate gold rush related to tobacco products, is and has been long gone. Don’t feel bad. The fatter has created a new marketing demographic, green field opportunities that the decision making suits, who are most likely card carrying fatter members, are falling over themselves catering to. Everywhere you look there are plus-size, abundant, plentiful, and husky options to let you "be yourself". So, congratulations to the fatter, it wasn't easy baby. You really had to work hard to attain such an honor, mouthful by greedy, corpulent mouthful.

In the past, a righteous man would look contemptuously at a smoker and think “let them smoke themselves to death”. Well, it's a new day and the same righteous man is gloating as he thinks “let them eat…”

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